Why self-love is the best gift you can give your kids?
I used to believe that being a good parent meant putting myself last. I thought that if I gave all my time, energy, and love to my child, he would grow up feeling safe, happy, and loved. But I soon realized that neglecting myself wasn’t making me a better parent—it was making me exhausted and overwhelmed.
I have come to understand that the best gift I can give my child isn’t just my love for him—it’s my love for myself. When I take care of myself, I am not only healthier and happier, but I also set an example for my child to do the same for himself in the future.
🌸Why Self-Love Matters for Me
When I practice self-love, I show my child an important lesson: that self-worth isn’t something to be earned—it’s something to be owned.
My child watches everything I do. If he sees me constantly criticizing myself, neglecting my own needs, or always putting myself last, what am I teaching him? I don’t want him to grow up thinking that self-love isn’t important. I want him to see that taking care of myself is just as important as taking care of him.
Children learn by example. If I am constantly stressed, overworked, and emotionally drained, my child will see that and think that’s just the way life is supposed to be. But if I take care of myself, find joy in the little things, and practice self-kindness, he will understand that it’s okay to do the same.
🌸Breaking the Cycle
I grew up watching the adults in my life give and give until they had nothing left for themselves. I admired their dedication, but I now realize that they deserved more. I refuse to continue that pattern. I want my child to see a parent who loves deeply and loves themselves, too.
Society often tells us that being a good parent means sacrifice. While it’s true that parenting requires a level of selflessness, it shouldn’t mean losing ourselves completely. I want to break the cycle of burnout and exhaustion. I want my child to remember me as happy, fulfilled, and present—not just as someone who was always tired and stretched too thin.
🌸What Self-Love Looks Like for Me
Self-love isn’t about fancy vacations or expensive treats (though I won’t say no to those). It’s about respecting myself enough to prioritize my well-being. Here’s what self-love looks like for me:
💞Setting Boundaries – I am learning to say no when I need to. No, I can’t do everything, and that’s okay. I no longer feel the need to say yes just to please others.
💞Prioritizing My Health – I take time to eat well, get enough sleep, and move my body, not because I have to, but because I deserve to feel good. When I prioritize my health, I have more energy to keep up with my child and enjoy our time together.
💞Allowing Myself to Rest – I give myself permission to slow down and not feel guilty about it. Rest isn’t a reward; it’s a necessity. Taking breaks allows me to recharge and be more present for my child.
💞Speaking Kindly to Myself – I remind myself that I am enough. If I wouldn’t say it to my child, I wouldn’t say it to myself. I deserve the same kindness that I freely give to him.
💞Doing Things That Bring Me Joy – I watch my favorite shows, try new recipes, or simply savor a quiet cup of coffee. I do things that remind me that I’m still me, outside of being a parent. I allow myself to have hobbies, to laugh, and to enjoy life without feeling guilty for it.
🌸The Ripple Effect on My Child
Since I started taking care of myself, I’ve noticed a shift in my child. He is more independent, more confident, and, to my surprise, actually seems happier. When I’m less stressed, I have more patience. When I take time for myself, I have more energy to pour into him. And when I speak kindly about myself, I see him doing the same for himself.
Children are deeply intuitive. They sense when their parents are overwhelmed, and that can affect them emotionally. When I take care of myself, I am not just doing it for me—I am doing it for him. My happiness and well-being create a stable and nurturing environment for him to thrive in.
The best part? He doesn’t ask me if I’m happy anymore. He knows I am. And he knows that he is allowed to be, too. He is learning that taking care of oneself isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
🌸Overcoming Mom Guilt
One of the hardest parts of prioritizing myself was dealing with mom guilt. Every time I took a break, I worried that I wasn’t doing enough. But then I realized that constantly running on empty wasn’t helping anyone. My child deserves a happy, healthy mom, not a burned-out one.
I remind myself that I am setting an example. I want my child to grow up knowing that self-care is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. I want him to feel confident in prioritizing his needs when he grows up because he saw me do the same.
Instead of feeling guilty, I now remind myself: I am still a great parent, even when I take time for myself. In fact, I am a better parent because I do.
🌸Giving Myself Permission
If I ever feel guilty for putting myself first, I remind myself: Taking care of myself is taking care of my child. I am not just a parent; I am a whole person with needs, dreams, and feelings that matter.
The world won’t fall apart if I take a break. My child won’t love me any less if I set boundaries. In fact, he will love me more—not because I’m doing more, but because I’m showing him what it means to love himself.
So I go ahead and love myself the way I love my child. It’s the best gift I’ll ever give him. And in doing so, I’m not just raising a happy child—I’m raising a future adult who will know how to care for himself, just as I have learned to care for me.
If you’re looking for more ways to balance parenting with self-care, be sure to check out my other blog: The Young Mom’s Guide to Maximum Productivity and Peace (My 8 Tips!). It’s full of practical advice to help you find more time for yourself while being the amazing parent you already are!
Have you struggled with prioritizing self-love as a parent? What steps have you taken to care for yourself while raising your child? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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