This year when I turned 40, I gave myself a month of revisiting my childhood. I made a promise to myself that I will continue what I started last year, and that is I’m never leaving my 4-year-old self (even at 40 and even as I gain years). Allow me share with you my whys and hows!
I want to heal my inner child. My inner child is the one that is retaining her innocence, curiosity, and joy.
Interested in reparenting myself, I came across this article and it states that we don’t really outgrow our inner child and it will sometimes resurface in our outbursts. As part of our self-discovery, one good action to take is reparenting yourself.
As for me, my inner child is the one who is happiest when she’s able to express her awe and wonder at the things she experiences. She’s more trusting and sensitive to the feelings of others. She’s more truthful and straightforward in her communication.
How are we stripped of our childhood?
As I grew older, I lost my innocence due to various factors. Traumatic events, disappointments, and negative experiences somehow eroded my sense of trust and security.
I got exposed to the realities of the world, such as violence, injustice, or prejudice at a very young age and this challenged my idealistic views.
On top of these two, the pressure to conform to the norms and expectations in school and in society made me feel a bit suffocated. This stifled my spontaneity.
Because of these experiences, I developed a more critical or realistic outlook on life. I somehow lost that wonder and excitement about the world. I felt afraid of getting hurt by others and so I kept my vulnerable side.
When I began my employee life, a busy schedule and repetitive routine turned me into a boring person. The fear of making mistakes or looking foolish also prevented me from further exploring new things. I was worried about what others would think of me if I acted too childish or carefree.
There was also the overthinking of what the future was for me back then. Constantly analyzing and planning limited my ability to be playful. The pressures of adult life overwhelmed me and I found it difficult to find time for fun.
I don’t have any regrets in the way I’ve managed myself in all these years. In hindsight, I feel blessed that I dealt with the cards I had in a positive and productive way. I must admit, though, that I lost a bit of my childlike ways.
How can we reclaim our childhood now that we’re an adult?
While it’s natural to lose some of our childhood innocence as we grow older, I believe that it’s possible to reclaim aspects of it. I do more of these 3 activities slowly to get back my innocent, playful, and creative self.
😇 Practicing gratitude
Gratitude has always been a powerful emotion for me. It’s the one that has prodded me all these years to look for the good in every situation, even for the unpleasant circumstances. Practicing gratitude made me believe in a positive future and at the same time helped me appreciate the little moments in life.
In the morning when I take my coffee, I think about the things I’m truly thankful for. I affirm this as well by writing them in my diary. I have a worksheet here that you can use to jot down your daily gratitude.
On Buddhist auspicious days, I go to the temple with my family and this is the chance I get to reflect on the simple yet wonderful aspects of my life. I set aside time to visit the church and offer my prayer of gratitude and satisfaction to the supreme being.
Now that I’m older, my commitment to being grateful is greater. Over time, I’ve accumulated a wealth of experiences, both positive and negative. I’ve attained some level of maturity and wisdom. This made me understand the value of life in a deeper way. I’ve also incurred losses and failures in my youth and because of this, I get to be more appreciative of what remains and what I’m gaining on a daily basis.
😇 Embracing spontaneity
My new hobby since last year was discovering new experiences. I step outside my comfort zone and try a new activity, hobby, or experience. Sometimes, I let go of my plans and see where the day takes me. I say “yes” more often and welcome opportunities and adventures that come my way.
I pay more attention now to the present moment and I let go of my worries about the future. I stopped overanalyzing every decision I make. I’m an intuitive person but since last year, this has grown stronger in me. I’ve become more of the go-with-the-flow lady now that I’ve approached my 40s.
When I was younger, being spontaneous meant being reckless or impulsive. Now, it means I get to be open to new possibilities and remove myself from rigid control. Honestly, it’s so liberating!
😇 Shifting priorities
As children growing up, we had a limited perspective of the world and its complexities and because of this, our view of life is so much simpler. Moreover, as young kids, we were more genuine with our feelings. We didn’t have to hide or pretend what we truly felt. We were also less likely to be jaded about people.
In my adult years, I kind of missed these childlike qualities. I’ve shifted my priorities since last year and I told myself that I’m shifting away from material possessions and shifting towards personal growth, healthier relationships, and wonderful experiences.
I don’t entertain the pressure any more of achieving grand milestones. I’ve redefined what success is for me even though it’s probably far from what our society dictates.
Never Leaving My 4-year-old Self
The point of me sharing this blog post with you all is to remind you to never lose sight of the qualities that make you human and to embrace the wonder and joy that life has to offer.
I invite you to revisit your childhood and get to know that child in you again. You probably exuded this sense of wonder and playfulness. Maybe you were more creative and excited with your ideas. Did you have more friends back then?
Let’s not take life so seriously and instead, let’s find fun in everyday moments. Let’s navigate the complexities of adulthood with a lighter heart. Here are some practical ways to never lose sight of that child in you.
😇 Stay curious
Like a child, ask questions about the world around you. Challenge yourself to learn something new every day. Visit new places or read about topics you know little about. Keep your sense of wonder alive. Go to a new museum, attend a workshop, or volunteer at a dog shelter. There are so many things to be curious about!
😇 Laugh often
I can’t stress this enough! You can keep your youthful energy and outlook alive if you allow yourself to laugh freely and laugh often. Personally, I like watching old Filipino comedians because their style of making people laugh is so simple, yet so effective.
😇 Take the “what if” mindset
It can spark new ideas and have alternatives. It inspires our imagination and it makes us not fear taking risks. I adopted this mindset last year when I traveled solo for 60 days to India, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia and another 68 days to the United Arab Emirates, Cambodia, Singapore, and India.
I just took the what if approach and I benefited greatly. I don’t know how I did it, but I did my first ever long journey of solo travel!
I can’t wait to grow older and grow younger at the same time. Knowing that I can age in wisdom, but I can also keep my childlike spirit alive is such a beautiful thing to look forward to every day. This is the life hack I cracked when I approached my 40th.
To you who is reading this and feeling tired and old, it’s never too late. Catch up while you still can! I hope you can also say to yourself, “I’m never leaving my 4-year-old self even as I age!”
What are you doing to keep the child in you? Share in the comment section below. I’d love to hear your strategies!
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