When someone hears the place “Paris, France”, the first things that come to their mind are the Eiffel Tower or the Mona Lisa, the Arc de Triomphe, or perhaps the writer of Les Miserables, Victor Hugo.
In 2017, I started my life in this kind of place. Just for context, I grew up in the Philippines with my grandparents and, as an only child, was raised alongside my cousins. Now 22 years old, I spent half of my teenage years in a place I never expected to be. I experienced the four seasons each year, which is new for me, and spoke a language I had never known. Beyond all that, I encountered people I never imagined I’d meet. But what have I truly learned, and what am I still learning, since I moved to Paris in pursuit of a better life?
There are four small yet powerful lessons that have shaped my life significantly.
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👒 Have a teachable heart.
When I was in the Philippines, I possessed a proud and stubborn heart. I hate being taught and refuse to ask for help. People often labeled me as ‘Ang tigas ng ulo mo,’ meaning ‘You’re hardheaded.’ I relied on my language skills and ability to speak up, thinking I didn’t require correction. Yet, I made countless mistakes and avoided taking responsibility for them.
At the age of 15, everything changed. Everything felt back to 0, from scratch. I felt like a child again, where this time, I am aware of what’s really happening around me. Relearning how to communicate due to the language barrier, navigating unfamiliar surroundings, and understanding the people around me proved to be incredibly challenging. But as I was saying, being a hardheaded person, I didn’t want the help of anyone. I thought I could handle everything alone, especially since I had earned two diplomas without assistance. However, the turning point of my life came during a breaking season. I began to experience failure in every aspect—mentally, spiritually, emotionally—and even my physical health started to fail me. There was a lot of blaming directed towards God, but in the end, this marked a significant shift in my mindset. He transformed me from believing I knew everything to realizing how little I truly understood about life. It became evident that I needed to humble myself, take accountability for my mistakes, and learn from every failure I encountered. These experiences became valuable lessons and steps along my journey.
👒 Don’t allow fear dominate your life.
Before anything else, let me acknowledge that this second lesson might be the hardest to learn. But hey, breathe in! I understand that fear is often perceived negatively in our world today. However, I once read, ‘What stands in the way becomes the way.’ Let your fear become the path to success. I am still learning not to let fear dominate my life. As an introverted person in a place where I don’t speak the language, and where the culture is vastly different from my home country, being alone became my forte, my comfort zone, and especially my energy source more than ever before. However, this also meant that my social anxiety didn’t improve, hindering me from pursuing things I both want and need to do.
I do recall a time when I needed to complete an internship to obtain my diploma. I had to approach stores and inquire if they were accepting interns. My fear of speaking to managers almost prevented me from obtaining the diploma I needed. However, as I persevered, repeatedly facing this fear drained me countless times. But then, God gave me people to be with. I realized that communicating and seeking companionship isn’t as daunting as I had imagined. This situation taught me to make the first move, a lot of taking breaths, and to let fear guide me and not dominate me towards obtaining that diploma. Eventually, I did achieve my diploma at the end of the school year.
👒Understand your point of view.
Moving to France was one of the most painful experiences of my teenage years. Leaving behind my family, my friends and the life I knew in the Philippines is such a tough decision and an unexpected moment of my life. Though it may not have been the perfect one, but it was absolutely a step towards a better future.
This place not only exposed me to its arts, literature, fashion or architecture, but also to personal growth. It made me realize that a lot of things you haven’t yet discovered. You are learning every day, in every season, no matter where you are in life.
I admit that there might be some instances where I want to get back to my hometown to reconnect with the people that I left behind, but other than that I also find myself yearning to escape reality. But trust me, that won’t and will never be a solution. Through and by the grace of God, I can say that I have not only survived but am thriving. The Philippines will always be my home. Yet I might also acknowledge that this place, Paris, France has become another home to me.
One of the greatest gifts the world offers us is the lessons we learn in life. You don’t necessarily have to move to another country to gain knowledge. Right where you are, at this moment, there are valuable teachings awaiting discovery. What hinders you to accept it?
I hope you gained some value from my insights as a teenager who moved to Paris.
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